New research from Michigan State University challenges the popular assumption that narcissists gradually damage their relationships over time.
The study used longitudinal data to track over 5,000 couples for up to six years. Participants completed questionnaires that measured two dimensions of narcissism: narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry.
“Narcissists have two different ways to maintain their inflated positive self-perceptions,” said Gwendolyn Seidman, lead author of the study and associate professor in MSU’s Department of Psychology. “They can puff themselves up by trying to impress others (narcissistic admiration) or they can put other people down to show they are superior to them (narcissistic rivalry).”
Published in the Journal of Personality, the study found that narcissistic rivalry traits were consistently linked to lower relationship satisfaction for both partners, but contrary to earlier research, narcissistic admiration had no meaningful effect on either partner’s satisfaction.
In addition, the study found that the rate of decline was no steeper for couples where one partner scored highly on narcissism. This suggests that long-term effects of narcissism on romantic relationships may unfold in ways that are more nuanced than previously thought.
The study also looked at couples who had been together for a year or less — and found that narcissistic traits showed no association with satisfaction at all.
“People often assume that narcissists are charming at first but gradually damage their relationships over time. Our findings suggest that the reality may be more complicated,” said Seidman. “Perhaps there is some turning point in the relationship where things change and satisfaction nosedives or perhaps the ‘honeymoon’ phase with narcissists is longer. Another possibility is that the harm caused by narcissists doesn’t show up directly in their partners’ overall relationship satisfaction. For example, narcissists may gradually erode their partners’ self-esteem or sense of agency.”
The researchers hope that by understanding how personality traits shape relationship experiences, clinicians and other researchers can better understand why some relationships struggle and how partners influence each other’s well-being over time.